Differentiable
Music by Beyoncé
Lyrics and vocals by Jonah Ostroff

From the left, from the left. (2x)
From the left, from the left. Take that limit from the left. In this quotient, like a hero, Limit as h goes to zero. That limit, yeah you know what’s next: f(x + h) − f(x) and,
all that is over h, it’s fine. Gonna get the slope of your tangent line.
Chorus: Standing at the cusp point, tellin’ me How I’m such a fool, talking ’bout How I’ll never ever find an f like you. You got no derivative.
That limit DNE. That limit DNE. I can just tell when I take the limit. Matter fact, I’m gon’ take that limit.
That limit DNE. That limit DNE. I can see the tangent line’s vertical. So don’t you ever for a second get to thinking you’re differentiable.
So go away there’s no hope. Get outta here with that infinite slope. Oops, I bet you thought, that I didn’t know What did you think that product rule was for? It’s cause you said, I quote, “Don’t you worry ’bout that asymptote!” Ain’t gonna change my mind. Your derivative is undefined.
(Chorus)
I don’t want you wastin’ all my time, Because you don’t have an f′, f′ does not exist. So go away now, I must insist.
Leave me now, I’ve got no compunctions, I’ll just find some other functions. Get off this graph, you won’t missed.
(Chorus, etc.)